Week 3: I Want to Stop Killing Myself with Food


Last week: 356lbs

This week: 354.5lbs

Loss: 1.5lbs


On a scale from 0-10, when it came to eating this week, I was at about a 6.

Most days were on track. I drank a lot of juice. I ate beans and rice. I drank green smoothies.

A habit I’ve had for decades is to always buy some sort of “treat” when I run errands. This week, I had to stop in at Staples then buy a few things at the grocery store. Normally, I’d pick up some chocolate bars at the drugstore and stop for a large chicken burrito as I walked back home.

This time, since I’m not eating gluten, sugar, nor meat, my “treat” choices were limited. While I was at the drugstore, I tried to go for a non-food treat and picked up a bottle of nail polish. It just didn’t feel the same, so I headed for the food section and picked up a bag of Pop Chips. (I love Sour Cream & Onion flavour.)

I felt good about my choice. I ate the bag when I got home. The thing is, the high sodium really got to me. (There’s over 1000mg of sodium in a “share” bag of Pop Chips.) Not only did I become bloated, but I started to seriously crave other salty foods. I ended up ordering out for takeout food—the first time in three weeks—and getting two orders of French fries.

The thing about eating fries is that, in your mind, you remember them tasting awesome. I have to admit, the first 25 or so were pretty good. But when you eat (or drink) a lot of fruits and veggies, you start to get used to the taste of live food. When you eat something cooked—or deep fried—once your mind is satisfied, you start to realize how unnatural fries taste.

Once again, I don’t quite understand why I keep craving potato-related foods. I do know though, I have got to be so much more aware of my sodium intake and be mindful that too much will take me off track.

One other thing…

I had a conversation with my mom about food. She loves baked goods and meat. I try to talk her into eating more fruit or trying green smoothies. She refuses to even consider it.

After I got off the phone, I realized something. My mom doesn’t have the happiest life. Food is the thing that brings her pleasure. I really think she’s biding her time until she dies and is enjoying all the muffins, steak, chocolate, etc she can as she continues on that path.

I can’t judge her. I used to be the same way. Someone once asked me, “Do you really want to live?” I couldn’t answer with a firm “yes”. However, today, I feel like I’m leaning way more toward “yes” than I have in a long time. My fear is that I’ve done too much damage to my body by neglecting for so long that I won’t have the longevity I now want.

I just know I will no longer be killing myself with food.

This week, I’d like to try a three-day liquid feast and drink green juice, citrus juice, and green smoothies.


Honestly, I didn’t work out much this week. I feel like, for the past three weeks, my focus has been more on food.

I have 90 days until I visit NYC. I was going to do a round or Power 90, but, after giving it some thought, I realized I’m not physically ready to do that right now.

So, instead, I’m going to dive into my Leslie Sansone DVD collection and start “walking away the pounds” as well as do strength training every second day.

The thing about Leslie Sansone DVDs, is that I appreciate their simplicity, but after awhile, I tired of Leslie. I’ve read of people who turn down the volume and put music on instead. I may try that.

I will be using a Web site I found recently, DailyMile, to keep track of my workouts.

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One Response to Week 3: I Want to Stop Killing Myself with Food

  1. Betty January 22, 2012 at 7:24 am #

    Sounds like you are on track, even if the road is a little bumpy.

    I discovered your blog a couple of weeks ago and have been looking forward to your weekly updates. I, too, am looking at my food consumption and what you’ve posted has been very inspirational to me.

    Keep up the good work!

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