My Weight History:
I was chubby, but my weight wasn’t out of control. I grew up on a farm and was always active–either playing outside or doing chores. We grew most of our own food, so I was eating quite healthy as well.
My teen years were quite stressful. Even though I began binging and purging from time to time, I didn’t go to an extreme and end up with an eating disorder. At that time, I hated being at home and spent as much time as I could staying at friends’ houses. When you’re a guest at someone’s house, you can’t exactly go into their fridge and eat whenever or whatever you wanted. Also, I rarely had money and couldn’t buy food. I would go days without eating. Even now,when I have enough money to buy food at any time, I still have a deep seated fear of the past repeating itself and having to experience that kind of scarcity again.
I don’t recall how much I weighed back then. For all I know, I could have been 10-30lbs overweight. Judging from the constant criticism I would get from kids at school and my stepfather, it felt like I was 100lbs overweight (which I wasn’t…). My perception of that time, based on the reaction of others, was that I was seriously huge and a total freak.
A few months before my 16th birthday, I moved away from home and, after adjusting to being on my own, I began to consciously make an effort to lose weight. I didn’t have my own scale, but I do remember coming home and using my mom’s and being around 150lbs at my lightest.
In My 20’s:
During this decade, my lowest weight was 170lbs. My highest (at age 29) was 240lbs.
I do remember being just over 200lbs for the longest time, and then at around age 25, deciding to take drastic measures to lose weight. I went through a crazy time of eating nothing six days a week and just living on water and Diet Root Beer and then ordering a pizza on the seventh day. I had no energy and just stayed in bed reading a lot of the time. I lost weight, and got down to 170lbs, and then celebrated by eating…a lot.
In My 30’s:
Right after I turned 30, I moved across the country to a city I shouldn’t have moved to. Nothing sucks more than to realize, weeks after you moved 3,000 miles, that you made a huge mistake. For the first year I was there, I did nothing but sit at my computer and eat food from the convenience store across the street. I went from 240lbs to 310lbs.
I have a feeling the stress of the move impacted my thyroid and that also played a role is such a huge weight gain within a year. Mostly though, it was the horrible food I was putting in my body.
A couple of years later, I started to be much more active. I started doing Power 90. I became passionate about photography and would go out walking for hours and hours to shoot photos. I lost about 50lbs quite quickly. I maintained that weight (270lbs) for a few years. Then, I decide to move again.I stopped being active and, instead, focused on work, making enough money for the move, and planning the move.
Once again, my weight increased to over 300lbs.
The second move wasn’t as stressful as the previous one. The thing is, by that time I had so many bad habits developed and they all came along with me.
The Last Five Years:
Almost four years ago, I went from 335lbs down to 280lbs. Rather than continuing to lose, I gained it all back…and more. As I write this (on 01/08/2012), I’m at my highest weight ever.
I remember the day when I stepped on the scale and it read 299lbs. (That would have been the summer of 2008.) I began to feel better about myself and felt like I could actually, really lose all of this weight. Right now, I’m striving to have that experience again.
Beyond getting below 300lbs, honestly, I can’t fathom what it would be like to be in the 100’s because it’s been so long.