My sleeping schedule is completely out of whack again. Today was the worst. After staying up all night, I got, maybe, three hours of sleep before I was woken up by the alarm. I had to wake up to call the therapist I’ve been doing phone sessions with for the past couple of months. (More about that in a future blog post.)
After the session, I ordered out for food. Submarine sandwiches to be exact. Lately, for some odd reason, I’ve been craving tuna. Granted, a mayo-laden tuna salad sub isn’t exactly the healthiest way to take care of a fish craving. Nevertheless, it is a lot healthier than a lot of my past food choices and contains far less sodium.
I went back to bed and slept for a couple of hours before my ringing phone woke me up. After the call, I went back to sleep. A couple of hours later, same scenario.
As I write this, it’s just after midnight and I’m exhausted. I really want to do a workout, but I just don’t have the energy. I’m going to wrap a few things up, go to bed, and hope I get some decent sleep and get back to my goal of having a 2AM bedtime and wakeup time of 10AM.
The thing that’s most frustrating is that there’s a few workouts I found that I am dying to try. I’ll include videos of them below.
What the hell is wrong with me? I want to workout. I have tons of time to workout. I have many workout options. Yet, at every moment of the day, I choose to do something else and not workout.
I feel so disconnected from my body right now. It’s so frustrating. I feel like all these rapid-fire thoughts going through my mind are more powerful than the yearning I have to change my body. By “rapid-fire thoughts” I’m referring to my obsession with researching things. I’m constantly reading about things, and people, that really have nothing to do my goals. It’s everything from wondering about random people I haven’t thought about in years and searching for them on Facebook to watching an incredible 8-hour British miniseries that aired in the 90’s and then finding out as much as I possibly can about the guy who wrote it. (The miniseries is called Holding On and the writer is Tony Marchant.)
The one good thing about researching Tony Marchant was that he inspired me. In an interview, he mentions how he does his writing at libraries. I thought that was brilliant. I need to get out of my apartment to write. I didn’t want to go to a coffee shop (total cliché) or a food court (too noisy). A library is perfect. I live four blocks from one. Ideally, I’d wake up in the morning, workout, and at a certain time, walk to the library to write for an hour or so.
If only I could get my sleeping in order to be able to do that…
I love intellectual stimulation so much, but I know there’s a price I’m paying for it.
The workouts I mentioned: