It’s been ages.
My goal for 2014 is to revive the blog, the podcast, and my videos.
So, here I am.
Half of me is angry with myself for not keeping up with the blog. The other part of me looks back at the last few months and thinks it was probably for the best that I didn’t write. Writing would have meant always thinking about my weight. I needed a break from thinking about my weight.
And what happened when I stopped obsessing about my weight? I lost 40lbs.
There was a time when I believed I wasn’t capable of losing weight—that there was something wrong with my body and I could gain easily, but once on, the weight was not coming off. Somewhere along the way, I just let go of those thoughts (and the ones about how I was a failure…and the ones about how I could die at any moment). I focused on feeling better. In doing so, the weight just dropped off.
I’ve read/heard people use that term “the weight just dropped off”. I didn’t believe it was possible. But honestly, the less I stressed about the weight, the better I felt, and the better I felt, the less crap I ate.
Don’t get me wrong, my food intake was 50% fruits and veggies and 50% crap.
Looking back, the two main things I did differently were:
-stopped ordering takeout (something I was doing almost every day)
-started taking various herbs in the form of teas, infusions, and tonics
The weight was coming off and I was happy. Then, over the holidays, I went through this phase of thinking I could eat lots of crap and, maybe the weight would still, magically, come off.
It didn’t. My weight plateaued.
So, these days, I’m being more mindful. I’m cutting back on the addictive stuff—sugar, salty foods, bread—and getting serious about exercise.
Exercise is a whole lot more enjoyable being 40lbs lighter.
It’s a weird thing. A part of me is thrilled to be closer to 300lbs than 400lb, but then I have to stop and remind myself, I’m still really, really, really heavy.
I’m also documenting my experience with forming an exercise habit with the hope of turning it into a book.
Actually, it’s more than just about daily exercise. I vowed to myself this would be the year when I would get unified. I would stop ignoring my body and have my mind and my body work together from now on. The book is going to be about forming that connection.
I want to start blogging again and share stuff I come across. I want to begin interviewing people again for the podcast. I also want to write about herbs and how they can heal and keep you healthy as you lose weight. And, I really do believe that there’s too much emphasis put on what we should/shouldn’t eat and how we should exercise, but not a lot of emphasis on feeling good. Or maybe there is a lot of information about feeling good out there, but I never paid attention to because I was obsessing over finding a way of eating that would help me get the weight off fast.
I hope you’re all doing well with your health. I look forward to reconnecting with everyone and offering some blog posts that you will find helpful.
Starting Weight: 372
Current Weight: 332